Wednesday, 2 October 2013

"I'll stop hitting you when I'm six"

"I'll stop hitting you when I'm six" said Missy, as we drove to soft play.   Thanks, I thought.

Missy has been off sorts lately.  I've seen a couple of big tantrums, some full-on, throat wretching, ear-piercing screaming with venom in her eyes.  The word 'no' is prevalent, she's been talking about "when I was a baby" a lot and would definitely win Miss Attitude.  She's also been very lovely, sweet, helpful and funny, don't get me wrong, but the negative behaviour is of the like we saw earlier in the year.  

Could be several things that have set her off - perhaps her birthday, bringing back memories, not really knowing whether her new mummy and daddy will actually buy her a present, what happens on birthdays in this house?  Perhaps it's the eye drops she is back on.  I can actually pinpoint the day the tantrums started again and that was the day she started back on the eye drops.  If there was a more natural way to help her eyesight improve, I'd jump at it, but unfortunately the drops are the best solution right now.  One of the side effects is irritability and  I can't imagine what it's like to have one eye's vision blurred out so the lazy eye will work harder.  I think I'd be irritable.  It may be both these issues mixed in with a dose of school stuff.

A couple of times in the last week I had to walk out her room, once after she'd kicked me quite hard.  I was nearly in tears and Daddy took over bedtime duties instead.  Yesterday, she angrily wanted me to choose what she was going to wear, but unfortunately didn't like anything I chose.  I calmly said that it might be better if she chose and when she was ready to let me know and I would help her get ready and then we could have a hug.  I walked downstairs, again nearly in tears because of her venom towards me.  Crying and screaming followed but then silence and she appeared five minutes later in a lovely pink skirt and top, we had a hug and started playing with Lego.

At the beginning we felt we were walking on eggshells around Missy.  I think that feeling has pretty much gone now.  I can, largely, deal with her tantrums, help her make decisions, know when she needs some space, when simply watching Cbeebies is the right thing for her, when she's hit the tiredness wall.  

Missy went to her friends birthday party last week, where her friend had invited five other girls from the class.  Friend's mum invited me to stay and asked if I would like to help out which I was happy too, not necessarily because I wanted to keep an eye on Missy, more to make a few notes on what the heck you do for a girl's birthday party!   There are loads of way in which you can see how Missy has grown up, progressed over the last year, but along side her friends I could also see how socially and behaviorally she is a few months behind.  Not by much at all, not compared to, say, the school disco.   Reading is one area in which she is behind, she's only just reading books for the 4-5 year band, but you know what, I'm not going to stress over this. I doubt she read or was read to much before. Missy shows her flair in other areas: drawing, creating, sport.  In fact she came for a little jog with me yesterday, just half a mile which we'll gradually increase as we've signed up for the Sport Relief Mile next March.  She's also just about got the hang of riding a bike although straight lines are a little difficult at the moment.

I wonder if she'll remember what she said to me in the car.

In other news, I went to a House of Colour open day last weekend and got myself a bright red lippy! Never ever worn bright red before but the make up artist chose just the right colour for me.  I tell you, it does wonders for your confidence.





3 comments:

  1. The eye drops sound horrible. Poor Missy!

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  2. I agree, the drops sound awful and it must be both frustrating and irritating for Missy.

    And I know how you feel after the venom you receive. I'm becoming less upset as the weeks, months and years go by, I know it's not personal...it's really not, but sometimes it feels very much so.

    Thanks for linking up with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

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  3. I can empathise with some of your frustrations that the difficulty of caring for a child who has tantrums can bring out in you. Our two year old recently had an eye op and had to have drops afterwards for a couple of weeks - it was very very difficult as she would lie there and scream for awhile and she is def a little madam eye drops or no eye drops!

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